meet me or not, i'm out of control
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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