Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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