She is in my trunk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
