So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
