Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
