is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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