I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
