i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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