what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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