Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
