"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
