Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
