what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
