someone get that fucking seahorse.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize