so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
