forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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