that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
