Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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