You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
