I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
