the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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