Your tits are I can't wait for
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
