i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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