So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love you. Go after that dick
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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