everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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