You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
