Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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