I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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