She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
