left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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