I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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