Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
