Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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