Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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