I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
