dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
