OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
