Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
