I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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