Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
