Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
