He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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