You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
