I heard we made out
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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