so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
