i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
