This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
