no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
