how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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