So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she peed on how many people?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
