tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
