Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
