I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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